This was the best roller coaster I’ve ever been in my life. There were amazing ups and scary downs, but in the end, my husband and I met the greatest love of our lives.
In my first pregnancy, a friend of mine came to me and made me watch this documentary called “The Business Of Being Born”, which is about childbirth and it shows the benefits of having a completely natural labor. After watching it, my husband and I were quite convinced we wanted it to be 100% natural. We’re nothing close to being “natural parents”, but on this subject, we agreed it would be the best for me and our baby.
I’m writing this with no means to judge anybody or to point towards natural labor as being the right way of delivering a baby. I think there is no right way and that every woman is free and has the power to chose the experience she wants to have (of course sometimes things are just out of our control. We never know what’s coming. You’ll see what I mean).
So, having made that decision, we looked for the Bradley Method Of Childbirth (here’s some info if you’d like to read about it), which is a husband-coached kind of labor. Meaning, he participates in the entire thing in an active way. We both thought this was really awesome!
Preparing for labor
We started taking our lessons when I was about 15 weeks pregnant and if I’m not mistaken, they went on for 12 weeks. We’d meet in our instructor’s house, out in the country. It was my husband and I and another couple. Oh… and our instructor’s beautiful kids! They’d walk around the house and even help with some of the stuff she was teaching us.
It was my first pregnancy so I did everything I thought was right. I had a pretty healthy diet and did most of the exercises we learned from our Bradley coach. We did everything that we could to prepare for the big day!
An unexpected turn of events
Everything seemed to be going well. My mom was about to arrive from Brazil to spend the last few weeks with us until the day of the delivery when we would meet our sweet boy. She arrived when I was about 37 weeks pregnant.
She had spent the whole pregnancy far away, separated by thousands of miles from us. We wanted her to feel like she was a part of this. We wanted her to have memorable moments of this incredible journey we’d been on. So we ordered a 3D/4D ultrasound so she could get a glimpse of what her very first grandson would be like.
I’m lying on the bed, getting ready to see my son on the screen again. My mom can’t hide her excitement behind her large smile. We’re all waiting for the ultrasound technician to show us the cuteness! He comes in, starts to operate the ultrasound machine, and then begins to talk. At that moment, we discovered that Sam was breech and didn’t have much space to turn! For three days, I tried tons of exercises I found on YouTube (that were supposed to help him turn and have his head down), but nothing happened.
The (scary) good news
On a Tuesday morning, 3 days after the ultrasound took place, we went to our scheduled doctor appointment. By that time, I was already 38 weeks pregnant. I told her all about what we had discovered during the weekend. They immediately scheduled a C-section for a week from that date and ordered an ultrasound for the same day so they could confirm the diagnosis. The ultrasound happened less than 10 minutes later.
It was around 10:30am when the ultrasound technician began examining me and said:
Yes, the baby is breech. Now I’m just going to check the fluid to make sure everything is ok.
When I asked her about the fluid, she told me she had to get my doctor because she wasn’t allowed to give me any information, directly. I guess, when you hear this, in your heart, you just know something is up.
I found it weird that she didn’t just tell me what she had found out, but at the same time, I was wondering if it was a standard procedure.
When my doctor comes in, she looks at me with a trying-to-hide-the-worry fake smile and says:
Guess who’s having a baby today?
I was sure it wasn’t me because it was not time yet!!!
I was battling in my head, “who else would it be?” There’s no one we know in common… It’s gotta be me, but it’s not time!!!
I responded with a fearful, shaky voice, that awkward smile, and tears rolling down my face:
She shook her head and explained the fluid was low. At that point, she told us to go home, get whatever we needed and come right back for the surgery! I was absolutely shocked. I was so not ready to come home with a baby on that day.
I started bawling and looking at my doctor with a face that reflected all sorts of doubt and fear. She got down at my level (I was sitting on a chair), looked me in the eye, and assured me everything was going to be just fine. On that moment, I knew the Lord was there with me. And He would take care of everything. I knew it for a fact because we had prayed for that doctor long before we chose her.
I didn’t get mad or angry because it wasn’t going to be natural. The most important thing was my baby’s health at that point. I guess most moms can agree with that. And since I was not the one who had spent years studying that subject, I just trusted her and rested in the Lord. There was a reason why we had picked her as our doctor in the first place. We prayed for her, we asked God to direct us to the right person and there was no doubt she was the one He chose for us!
The beginning of the best moment of my life
My husband was working and had no idea of what was going on. I got my phone and called him. I still remember my exact words.
Me: Are you sitting down?
Him: Yes. Why?
Me: We’re having our baby today?
He completely freaked out on the other side of the phone. I knew he was not ready either. But you know what? I don’t think anybody is. Not for the first baby, not even when it’s past the due date. That uncontrollable fear takes over us.
The fear of not being good enough. Fear of not knowing how to be a mom, how to hold the baby, how to bathe, how to raise a child. The fear is real on that day.
My mom, my aunt and I left the hospital and picked up Deivid at work. We all went home and grabbed my suitcase and baby’s bag. Then, we went straight to the hospital.
When our first birth happened
On July 15th of 2014 at 4:30 pm, I got to see the most beautiful face in the whole entire world, wrapped in that red and blue, stripped hospital blanket! It was the happiest moment of our lives! It was magical, beyond what words can describe.
All the fear and anxiety were just gone. They vanished.
There was just space for love in the room. At that moment, I could experience love in its purest form. In a more than perfect way!
It doesn’t matter how it happened. All that matters is that they are well and what they bring with them: that overwhelming love. A love so big that can be seen in their eyes, felt in that hug and heard through that vulnerable cry.
God, you are so perfect!
Thank you for allowing us to be moms and experience a tiny bit of your great love for us!
And this is how, at 38 weeks of pregnancy, our first love was born.
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