Saying no is a much necessary part of parenting, but saying no all the time can get pretty annoying not only for the child but also for you. It can get in the way of your relationship. And nobody wants that! Here, you’ll learn the one trick that can help you stop doing that all the time.
First, I just want to make very clear that there’s no way you’re going to stop saying no to your child for good. If you want them to become respectful and responsible adults, that’s gonna have to happen every. single. day.
But sometimes we use the word “no” even when we don’t have to. And I didn’t realize that until later in the game of parenting.
I’m pretty sure a lot of parents didn’t realize it yet.
There are other ways which you can use to teach your child the same message you would teach if you said “no”.
The simple trick you need to learn to stop saying no to your child all the time
It’s called: redirecting.
Instead of saying no to your child all the time, simply redirect them to a more appropriate venue or time.
What? What does that even mean?
Hold on. Please, bear with me. Everything will make a lot more sense once I give out some examples.
Redirecting them to an appropriate venue
Redirecting, in this case, doesn’t mean you’re going to physically redirect your child to another venue.
It just means you’re going to redirect their brain to another venue where it would be appropriate to act the way they’re acting now.
For example, let’s say you’re inside your home with your child and they’re throwing a baseball with all the strength they have to the point of almost breaking your decor, furniture or windows. Ohhhh, we don’t want that. Do we?
Your first instinct in this situation could be to say something along the lines of:
- No, stop it!
- Knock it off!
- Stop this right now!
Instead of having a negative reaction right away, you can tell them how cool it is to play baseball and explain that it’s appropriate to do so in a park, but not in your living room.
Redirect that activity to another venue in their brain.
Teach them that it’s ok to play with the baseball in the park, just not inside the house. Redirect instead of rebuking.
Having a really hard time being patient with your kiddos? Are they driving you nuts? Say Goodbye to Mommy Rage! Here you can find 4 Tips to Keep Your Peace!
Redirecting them to the appropriate time
It’s Wednesday afternoon and your child wants to go to Church. This happens a lot in our home and this is why I chose this example for this type of redirection.
Instead of saying No, we can’t go to Church right now.
Explain it to them that Church is amazing and that it’s a great thing to do, just not today, because there’s no one at Church.
It might be a totally different situation in your case, but you get the point, right? Substitute the word no, for an explanation of what would be a better time for that specific wish of your child, redirecting them to the correct time.
Always making sure to tell them that what they meant is a real possibility, just at a different time.
The one book that helped us parent better and understand our kids more: TEACH Your Kids How to Behave. You can read more about it here.
A pply the trick to almost everything else in your child’s life!
This simple trick can not only be applied for venue or time but it can also be used for words, activities, age, and a bunch of other stuff.
It might seem extremely simple, but once you start using it, you’ll notice that your relationship with your child can suffer a lot less if you avoid using the word no so much. Even when you actually mean NO.
Now, please share with us down in the comment section if you’ve ever used this trick unconsciously or if you’ve never had this idea! If you’ve been redirecting your child, how do you do it? In what circumstances? We’re dying to know over here, mama!