It was supposed to be just another Sunday morning. I wasn’t thinking about my purpose, calling or anything deep. It was just another day.
We woke up at 7am like we usually do.
Well… You can’t really wake up any later than that when you have two young kids. Yeah, it’s tough. I agree.
Ham and cheese bagel sandwich for me and the hubby, and waffles and fruits for the boys. We finished eating, and I ran so I could be the first to shower. I take longer than he does to get ready, so I wanted to make sure that by the time he was ready I at least had my clothes on.
I showered, got crazy braids done on my hair to hide the frizz that covered my entire head, and got dressed. Then, I grabbed the boys, changed them and we were all finally ready to go.
We got to church and went downstairs, where the kids ministry is located. Daniel stayed in the nursery and Sam went to the 3 year old room, which he’s always extremely excited about.
We went back upstairs, greeted a couple of friends, talked about summer, and went to the big room where the service is at.
Do you know when you go to church and have just no expectations at all about what the Lord is going to do?
That morning I felt just like that.
I had no expectations.
During the first song, I was watching other people and feeling very distracted. I was trying to focus on the lyrics and be in the moment, but I couldn’t.
As I was just looking around and paying attention to other people and to the singers and musicians, when I spotted this young girl… She looked like she was 13 years old, maybe younger. My first thought when I saw how she was singing, was that she was worshipping Jesus with her whole heart.
You could see in her face a peace and serenity and I imagined how connected she was with Him, with the song and with the moment. She raised her hand and sang like she meant it.
Every. Single. Word.
As I kept looking, she kneeled worshipped Jesus with all she had.
At that very moment, everything disappeared and I connected with Jesus in a deep way. Because of the love I could feel through that young girl’s worship to Jesus, I could finally connect with Him and remember all the things He did for me.
The song that was playing was:
“I believe in God our Father
I believe in Christ the Son
I believe in the Holy Spirit
Our God is three in one
I believe in the resurrection
That we will rise again
For I believe in the name of Jesus”
Tears were streaming down my face.
A battle had been stirring inside of me through a couple of weeks. I have been studying a lot about blogging and I have many projects in my head. One of my goals at the moment, is to figure out the main topics I want to blog about.
There were so many topics in my head that I couldn’t narrow them down. Food, faith, health, beauty, lifestyle, parenting, kids, family, marriage, blogging…
As I was singing along and worshiping God, I could hear Him speak to me so clearly. It wasn’t the first time. He’d already spoken to me about this very same thing, but something kept holding me back. God told me to talk about Him.
He told me that I have a ministry and a purpose.
My talent, my creativity and my love for writing and expressing myself are not just so I can help people in those topics, but are also to glorify Him. He kept telling me that this very gift He gave me is so that people can discover who He is and get to know Him through me.
I don’t know what was holding me back, but this time I’m committed!
Worship stopped and the pastor started preaching. My face was completely covered in tears and I was really worried that it would be also covered in black mascara.
Do you also freak out about looking like a Panda bear when you cry?
I went straight to the bathroom, cleaned up my face and as I’m about to walk out, someone walks in. It was a very special pastor of the church. One I can relate to in more ways than you can imagine. Her walk with God is amazing and inspiring.
She’s a great woman of God.
God whispered in her ear to chase me as I was walking by her on my way to the bathroom, so that’s what she did. I told her everything that was in my mind, everything the Lord had spoken to me and we prayed.
She prayed over me. Then, I prayed and committed myself to follow His calling.
I discovered my purpose and my calling in the Lord.
I’ve always wondered what that was, what my gifts were and what He wanted from me. I think I now have some clarity and an idea of what that is.
After hearing from Him so many times to write about Him, I think it finally clicked. I think I finally stopped pushing the idea away and started embracing it.
Maybe it was fear that kept me from accepting it. Fear of failing Him, of not being good enough, not being heard. I don’t know.
His word says:
Do not fear.
That’s what I will hold on to, for now. I will not fear. If I do, I will come to Him and find comfort and strength to keep serving Him.
Have you found your purpose and calling?
My purpose and calling might develop or change a little overtime, but I do believe this is it. Have you found yours? Have you felt like you found it?
If not, I would deeply encourage you to pray about it. I’ve prayed about it many times and I’m confident that this answer I received is fruit of all those prayers I prayed with tears in my eyes, wanting to know what He had for me, what He saw in me.
Friend, He wants you to find out what your purpose and calling are so you can pursue it. Don’t let anything get in the way like I did. Don’t let anything hold you back. You’re the light of the world.
Do not fear.