We’ve all experienced times when motherhood just isn’t so easy. We kind of lose the joy that once was in our heart. How can we find it back? How can we be a happier mom? Well, it all starts with ditching the fear!
Being a mom is hard work. I remember the day when Sam, my firstborn, came to this Earth.
All the fear, anxiety, stress, all the negative emotions I had been feeling, left my heart and gave place to a pure and overwhelming love.
When they are born, we are reborn as mothers. As they start developing and learning with the world around them, so do we.
We learn with them. They teach us more than we can imagine. But as we go through the new stages, each one of them comes with different challenges. And fear.
Every milestone and every big change we had to go through with our son, made my heart beat go a hundred times faster. Every single one of them made me nervous, anxious and made me doubt myself as a mother.
They brought back all the fear of the unknown.
The fear is real
In every one of those moments, I asked myself what the right way was. I read books, online articles, blogs, and I asked for opinions and advice. We all wish there was this great guide or manual that would tell us “how to be a good mom”.
I went into all those first milestones with our firstborn with very little confidence and a whole lot of fear. I doubted all of my ways.
I felt fear, even if just a little, in every new stage. But you know what happened in the end? We were always able to accomplish our goal!
All three of us. Together, as a mother, father, and son.
My husband and I would follow the books, articles, and opinions we agreed that fit our parenting style. Then, halfway into our journey, we’d realize it happened differently for us.
Not everything that happened to our friends or in the articles, happened to us. Each parent, each child and each situation is different. There’s no one-fits-all parenting style. There’s no one-fits-all potty training method or feeding method.
Every family has their own timing and their own way.
Embracing your family’s own way and timing will help you be a happier mom
I still love to read and ask for other moms’ opinions and advice. But now I know they are only tools that can help me go through the process. They guide me, they help me, but they’re not the only way.
Sometimes, I listen to one of them. Sometimes, I listen to more than one, and sometimes, l just learned to go with my gut.
Do you want to know how many times I feared? Here are a couple of examples so you can have an idea:
- Sam always loved the pacifier and I remember I was so nervous to wean him off of it because of all the stories I’d heard from friends. They told me their kids cried night after night, they told me their kids asked for the binky numerous times. I thought it would be a really hard process – a nightmare – but Sam only asked for it one time and then, adjusted really well.
- He never tried escaping his crib and for that reason, he slept on it for a long time. When he was two and a half, we thought it was time to transition him into a toddler bed. Again, I was so afraid! Afraid he would fall out. Or afraid that he would walk to our room waking us up every night. And we were never gonna be able to have a full night of sleep again.
- Then, he got really close to 3 years old. I thought there was no way we could wait anymore to potty train him. I was waiting for him to show interest in the potty, but I realized it wasn’t gonna happen. So we decided to train him anyway because it was time! Again, I was freaking out about it, but he did it so easily. I never thought this would be possible.
I’m pretty sure that fear haunted you just as many times, huh? It’s normal to have a little bit of fear. What’s not normal is to let the fear swallow us. We need to embrace our own timing and our own way.
We need to believe in our own instincts and trust ourselves as a mother. When we do this, we’re well on our way to finding our joy again and being a happier mom.
Ditch the fear. Start being a confident, happier mom.
What I wanna say is, we all have our fears and insecurities. No one doubts themselves more than we, moms, do, but our ways are always the best way for our kids. We know them and we love them! The bond we have, and only we have, can tell us if we’re doing ok.
We’ll never be perfect, but we will be good, we will succeed (even if it doesn’t look like it).
Following our hearts and overcoming that fear is how we do that.
Cling to God when you fear. He will help you find peace and be a happier mom!
Let’s let go of our fear, insecurity, and doubts. God gave us our kids and He gave us to our kids because He knew we could do it, He knew we would be the best we can for them.
Let’s believe in ourselves and in our ways, let’s believe in our love and bond with our kids. Have a little faith, mama! If you’re having a hard time, finding your faith, read this for some encouragement.
I really hope my words have encouraged you (even if just a little), to be a fearless, happier mom!
Take care, sweet mama.